is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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