I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize