Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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