I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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