Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he shaved USA in his pubs
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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