dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He better not be in your backpack
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
