Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this just has baby written all over it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize