If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
