I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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