This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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