I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
