maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
