Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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