but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
