i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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