the condom got lost in my hair
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
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YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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