i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
