Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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