Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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