The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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