they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
