a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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