As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Say something about gay babies.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Randomize
