My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
