:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I stole a fireplace last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
