TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize