oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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