Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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