brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
