He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
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He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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