She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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