I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
