You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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