Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
