I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize
