actually, I'm a sock model
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
