so explain again why im purple
no
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
