saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
