so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
