His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I could fuck to npr.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
