toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
