so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
try to milk me bitch
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