Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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