Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
