well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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