Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize