There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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