How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
