i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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