I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
