I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
