At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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