We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
