I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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