I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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