I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize