i wish peter jackson would direct porn
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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