Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
